Dear Everyone in the Whole Entire World,
Usually my lists are for my eyes only, which means they usually end up in a recycling bin or sitting underneath my bulldog, Ugly Otis, catching his drool. But since someone asked me to write one of my lists to introduce myself to you, I am already feeling distracted picturing all of you all over everywhere reading it. So, I am going to pretend this is a regular old list for my teacher Ms. Leon’s free-writing time and NOT a list for the whole entire world to see.
Now, should it be a list of ways I will get the new girl at my school, Elinor of London, to be my new best friend? Or maybe a list of the different smells that make me giggle? (And yes, one of them is my ex-best friend Charlotte Stinkytown’s rosemary anti-lice conditioner.)
Oh, wait, I have it:
Things I mostly do NOT worry about (this will be short)
by Jules Bloom
- I do not worry about my little brother, Big Henry, since he can handle anything as long as he’s got a scooter and some dinosaurs rain boots.
- I do not worry about my parents because they have reasonable explanations for EVERYTHING, even astrology.
- I do not worry about Ms. Leon because, as second-grade teachers go, she just plain wins—best accent, nicest, smartest, most fashionable.
That’s it. The list of things I maybe do worry about are covered in drool right now, but they include pretty much everything else—especially whether or not you’ll like me, because maybe unlike me, you LOVE orange-flavored things, and you HATE worms, and maybe you think Teddy Lichtenstein and I really are meant to be. I forgive you for that one, because I like you so much already! So fingers-triple-crossed, you will like me, too. (And Big Henry and Elinor and my parents and Grandma Gilda and yes, even Stinkytown…)