Mr. Brainfright, the teacher in Classroom 5C in Andy Griffiths’ Schooling Around series, seems to know everything about everything. His unconventional lessons range from, “When you’re breathing, it’s very important not to fall out of the window,” to what to do in case of lion attack, to how to best slide down the hallway on a banana peel.

And he challenges his classroom with such real world problems as:

A man has a goat, a wolf, and a head of cabbage. He comes to a river that has no bridge, but there is a small boat he can use to get across. The boat can only hold one of the three things he has. If he takes over the wolf first, then the goat will eat the cabbage. If he takes over the cabbage, the wolf will eat the goat. How does he solve the problem?

(How *does* he solve this problem? Can any of you figure it out?)

So, I would want to ask Mr. Brainfright the most important questions to plague our times:

1. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

2. Why did the chicken cross the road?

3. What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?

(Bonus points to anyone who knows the answer to the last one. Bonus points may be redeemed at your leisure for the satisfaction of knowing the answer.)

â€”Carly, STACKS Staffer

Take the goat over then take the cabbage and then take the goat back and take the wolf over then the goat again.

1. lol

2. To get to the other side

3. 1324 and 4/7

He would bring the goat over.

Then he would bring the chicken over, taking the goat, bringing the goat back to the wolf, bringing the wolf to the chicken, and finally bringing the goat back over.

Now for your three questions.

1. NO IDEA. Lol.

2. God said, “Thou shalt cross thy road.” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much joy.

3. 42.