An Interview with Kitty Galore
In the new movie Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore (rated PG), one crazed feline has taken things a paw too far. Kitty Galore, formerly an agent for cat spy organization MEOWS, has gone rogue and hatched a diabolical plan to not only bring her canine enemies to heel, but take down her former kitty comrades and make the world her scratching post.
We went behind the scenes to get the full story in this exclusive, up close and personal interview with Kitty Galore to find out what makes her purr.
Q: What is it like being a famous movie star?
Kitty: Well, a movie star is always pampered. That goes without saying. Although I just said it, so I guess that goes WITH saying. But, truly, it's ABOUT TIME I get the recognition I've long deserved. I finally get to rub shoulders with all the celebrity animals-- Scooby Doo, The Chipmunks, and of course, Lady Gaga. I do encourage all your readers to try to take over the world. It's really worth it.
Of course, there are downsides to being famous. The paparazzi-- these photographers-- they won't leave me alone. They're always begging for autographs, they dig through my trash-- they're like dogs, really.
Q: How is your owner taking your new Hollywood stardom?
Kitty: My so-called "owner" is a magician/escape-artist/pain-in-the-butt named "Chuck the Magnificent." He's not that magnificent, trust me. Still, I feel bad for the guy. It must blind him to stand next to a star who shines as brightly as I do!
Q: Did you have a stunt cat in the movie?
Kitty: How DARE you imply I don't do my own stunts! Sure, there were two look-a-like hairless sphinx cats used in certain scenes. I can't even remember their names. They were BARELY in the movie. They just filled in for me when my character had to wear those ridiculous costumes. You see, my skin is very fair and sensitive. Cheap polyester fabric makes me break out like you wouldn't believe.
Q: How did you get the name Kitty Galore? Does it have any special meaning?
Kitty: If you must know, my real name is Ivana Clawu. But when I broke from the MEOWS spy organization to go on my own, I needed a new name- one that would strike fear in dogs and humans alike! First I considered "Fuzzy Lovekins," but after asking around, it didn't have the intimidating tone I wanted.
Q: If you could be human for a day, what would you like to do?
Kitty: Why would I want to be a human, even for a second?!
Well, let me think about it. I suppose if I WERE human, I'd spend the entire day laying on the couch, licking myself, sipping milk from a saucer, and playing with the occasional ball of yarn.
Q: What is your biggest fear?
Kitty: Well most cats are afraid of water. But honestly, my deepest darkest fear is that someday I won't be ruler of the entire planet and have all dogs and humans bow at my feet. I tell you-- sometimes, I stay up late at night just worrying I won't be able to enslave mankind. It's terrible. But the thing is, you can't let those moments get you down. You have to keep believing in your dream.
Q: What is your favorite food?
Kitty: Lasagna. It's true. I know that's Garfield's favorite as well, but... it's just really yummy. Especially with a little parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. Mmmmm! There's nothing better.
Second favorite is dead rodents. Also with parmesan.
Q: What is your favorite thing to do in the whole world?
Kitty: I like long romantic walks on the beach and reading poetry, and pressing flowers into my scrapbook. . . OH COME ON!!!!!! MY FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD IS TRYING TO TAKE IT OVER!!!!
Q: What is the best thing about being a cat?
Kitty: Not being a dog. Next question.
Q: Are you really pure evil, or do you have a secret soft spot?
Kitty: Let's get this straight: I am the HERO of the movie! Who told you I was evil? Are dogs giving you these questions or something? Since when did wanting to get rid of humans and the canine menace suddenly become "evil?" I call it "ambition.” As for a secret "soft spot”, if I told you THAT, these cat and dog spies could use it against me. Can you believe they are working together to bring me down? It's embarrassing.
Q: What brings out your cuddly side?
Kitty: Well, there's my darling pet: an adorable little white mouse named Scrumptious. Scrumptious is so cute and sweet, sometimes I just want to eat him up! But I'd never do that. Not as long as there's lasagna around anyway.
Q: What are your future plans?
Kitty: I'm really trying to focus on world domination right now, but I do have a few side projects. There's my band. We're kind of a fusion-jazz ensemble consisting of myself, my henchcat Calico on drums, and hopefully I can force Justin Bieber to sit in for a session. Also, I'm working on a one-cat show for the stage. I explore the question, “what if Abraham Lincoln's kitten Jasper was on the Titanic?” I play over 60 characters with over 200 costume changes. It's a musical. I'm still looking for investors, so if you know anyone who might be interested, forward them my email address.
Q: Any message for the humans out there reading this?
Kitty: ENJOY THE MOVIE CATS & DOGS: THE REVENGE OF KITTY GALORE WHILE YOU CAN, HUMANS! Because once I take over the world, the only entertainment you'll find will be movies about dangling tinsel and aquariums full of tasty goldfish!!! BWA-HAHAHAHAHA!
Oh jeesh. Now I'm hungry. I hope there's some leftover lasagna in the fridge. If not, Scrumptious is in trouble. . .
Um. . . thanks, Kitty. (Yikes! Kind of makes me wonder what my cats are doing all day while I'm at work!)
Photos and interview courtesy of Warner Brothers Pictures