September 1, 2008

The Jonas Brothers, A Guy’s Perspective

Posted by at 7:26 am in Celebrities, Music | Permalink

I’ll admit — I didn’t want to like the Jonas Brothers. Do we really need another trio of goofy-haired, high-voiced dudes? But I figured, hey: if the JoBros are on the cover of literally every magazine in existence and their album hit #1, they must be doing something right. So I decided to check them out for myself.

As I watched the video for “Burnin’ Up”, my thoughts went something like this:

  • This video is dumb.
  • Nick Jonas is a bad James Bond.
  • This video is dumb.
  • Joe Jonas’ mustache is obviously fake.
  • Miami Vice was cool in the ’80s, but that was, like, 20 years ago.
  • This video is okay, I guess.

Then I watched it again.

  • Hey, this sounds kinda sounds like “Surrender” by Cheap Trick. I like that song!
  • I really want a red tuxedo/wet suit.
  • This chorus is pretty catchy.
  • Ha ha . . . stupid Joe Jonas. You can’t grow a mustache!
  • I want to listen to this song again. For . . . research.

Third time:

  • *Dance party*

Okay, so I admit it. This track is pretty hot. Great chorus, slinky guitar riff, and an awesome keyboard part. “Burnin’ Up” pretty much has it all. Jonas Brothers: 1, Me: 0.

But history is filled with one-hit wonders. You need a lot more than one hit song to make it. What else ya got, JoBro?

Ah, yes! The classic Power Ballad, “When You Look Me in the Eyes!” Guys, the Power Ballad Video has been around since Joe Jonas was in diapers, and it’ll outlive all of us. There are five criteria that every Power Ballad Video MUST fulfill:

  1. Must take place on The Road. (Check)
  2. Must feature slow-mo shots of the band on stage. (Check)
  3. Must include lots of audience shots (preferably singing along/waving lighters). (Check)
  4. Must demonstrate the deep bond between members of the band. (Check)
  5. Must include at least one shot of a band member sleeping on the bus. (Check)
  6. BONUS: Black and white! (CHECK)

The verdict? JoBros killed it on this one (although they could use some tips from the Power Ballad masters: Journey, Aerosmith, Paul McCartney).

Overall, I’m kinda impressed. They’re young, and they’ve got plenty of time to mature as artists. Justin Timberlake has proved that you can be a teen pop star and still grow up to be pretty cool. But I need a little more convincing. What’s the next song I should check out? Let me know in the comments!

— Jack, STACKS Intern